So you guys know I’ve been spending an insane amount of time at work of late… This means every now and again I need to do some venting as it’s good for my soul.
Something that’s been “amusing” me more than usual (I guess because I’m easily irritated at the moment) is the corporate obsession with giving everything a RAG status. What is a RAG status you ask? Well basically they put every single piece of work into one of 3 categories: Red, Amber or Green.
- Let’s start with Green, cause it’s the easiest one… Green means everything is awesome. Basically you’re like a rock star for not having any issues or risks that might impact what you’re doing in any negative way. People high five you as you walk past and you get invited to drinks with the boss. This is the best place to be. Period.
- Amber means some shit has hit the fan and you’re now at risk of not completing when you said you would. You might need extra people to help etc. People now start passing you in the passage without making any direct eye contact.
- Red means some very very serious shit has gone freakin wild and more money & manpower will definitely have to be thrown at the problem to make it go away. You will also almost certainly finish late. At this point people totally stop talking to you in the kitchen area.
Now I’ve heard senior managers say that it’s totally OK to go Red every now and again. Shit happens. And I 100% agree with that. But what I have come to realise this is a blatant senior management LIE. They never think it’s OK for you to go Red… ever… even if it was because the building caught on fire and you lost all your troops. 
So because of this I decided to spend some time thinking about what tricks one could use to try soften the blow of being Red. Just in case there are others out there battling with this same predicament. Here goes:
- In your status report, end of with a smiley face. Everyone knows a smiley face lightens the mood immediately. Like always.
- Try a dark pink instead. Who could possibly be angry at dark pink? Come now.
- Try a riddle. Something like: What would you get it you made Amber blush?
- If all else fails, make sure you find someone who’s also Red, but in a slightly worse off position than you are. That way you will seem less Red in comparison. Also make a point of highlighting this exact point at any and every opportunity.
Easy as pie, right? 
Now tell me, anybody else want to use this opportunity to vent as well? What work stuff do you have to deal with that drives you up the wall?
xxx
