This is the cat in the bag:
And this is the cat out of the bag:
That it all…
** And just like that I’ve become one of those cat people I would normally despise… hehe. The things you do while waiting in the painful online queue for Tomorrowland tickets, only to get the SOLD OUT message over 2 hrs later… sob sob… **
xxx
PS: No cats were harmed during the making of this blog post. A stunt kitty was brought in due to safety concerns. 
You might have seen this before, but it was just too good not to share.
I couldn’t seem to find who the creator of this image is. But to that person I’m giving a big virtual high 5! Love this soooo much…
xxx
Now I’ve explained my dry/dark sense of humour before in this post. If you missed it – you might want to read it to set the scene for what’s to come…
This past Sun my friend Darryn posted this link to images of offensive wallpapers on my Twitter feed. He felt that somehow they reminded him of me. Aaaaah sweet man. 
I had a look and I have to agree, they are me to the T. Here are some of my favourites:
And last but not least, a lovely one about friendship:
Thanks Darryn – gonna be using these on my work PC from now on. BTW – you can check out the full list of offensive wallpapers here.
xxx
A while back I posted the following image on Twitter. It explains my sense of humour to the T and I felt it was important to reiterate it again to set the scene before I share the awesome Cyanide & Happiness comic strip someone sent to me the other day.
OK, ready? This made me laugh so hard I was in tears. Yep, it’s that good:
Come on… you at least cracked a smile… didn’t you… Gawd I love Cyanide & Happiness, they’re so deliciously evil. I already own two of their books! You can check out their daily cartoon here – you know you want to.
xxx
Need to say something, but not quite sure how to say it? Look no further than www.someecards.com!
The ecards on this site are really fun with a deliciously evil twist and most importantly absolutely free. And I also looooove their slogan:
“When you care enough to hit send”
They have pretty much covered any and every topic under the sun, so it’s the perfect one-stop-shop for all your needs.
Seeing as it’s the silly season and all, there’s quite a lot of Christmas/Hanukkah/Happy Holidays type options. This one for example would have been perfect for me:
My bday & xmas are a week apart… yet, some ppl still try to get away with that one gift thing. I don’t think so…
Another one that would have been appropriate:
So true…
Or do you perhaps know someone who’s single over the holidays?
Maybe you just want to tell a friend how special she/he is to you…
Or just show how much you care…
Then there are lots of great happy birthday options, like these:
Or have you ever had to break up with someone, but just couldn’t do it face to face?
Maybe you just want to wish someone good luck with their exams:
Or you’re feeling romantic and want to spread some looooooove…
Need to send your sympathies?
Or maybe you need to just say “I’m sorry”:
There’s even options to help with that bit of conflict at the office:
You see, the perfect way to say whatever is on your mind. Go check out the website for many more awesome options. Just be careful, it might suck you in for a few hours, especially if you’re trying to avoid doing anything productive…
xxx
So, working in the corporate world does have it’s “quirks”. One being all the rules, rules and more rules and then the tons of committees and admin that go along with managing those bloody rules. It can quickly turn into a massive headache.
Therefore when a colleague of mine passed on this joke, it had me in tears (of laughter luckily) because it’s just so damn close to home.
Here goes:
TO: ALL PERSONNEL
FROM: ACCOUNTING
It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of “Miscellaneous Unproductive Time” (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.
Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.
Thank you,
Accounting
Attached: Extended Job-Code List
Code and Explanation
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for Lunch
5321 Waiting for End of Day
5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker
5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present
5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend
5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning
5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid
5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You
5481 Buying Snack
5482 Eating Snack
5500 Filling Out Timesheet
5501 Inventing Timesheet Entries
5502 Waiting for Something to Happen
5503 Scratching Yourself
5504 Sleeping
5510 Feeling Bored
5511 Feeling Horny
5600 Complaining About Lousy Job
5601 Complaining About Low Pay
5602 Complaining About Long Hours
5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)
5604 Complaining About Boss
5605 Complaining About Personal Problems
5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining
5701 Not Actually Present At Job
5702 Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
6102 Ordering Out
6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
6201 Stealing Company Goods
6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods
6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls
6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods
6205 Hiding from Boss
6206 Gossip
6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)
6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself
6211 Updating Resume
6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter
6213 Out of Office on Interview
6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
6223 Pretending You Like Coworker
6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are Jerks
6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)
6602 Complaining
6603 Writing a Book on Company Time
6611 Staring Into Space
6612 Staring At Computer Screen
6615 Transcendental Meditation
7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)
7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone
7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone
7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone
7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone
7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone
7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone
7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone
7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
8000 Recreational Drug Use
8001 Non-recreational Drug Use
8002 Liquid Lunch
8100 Reading e-mail
Hmmmm… so how many of those would you have to use then? hehe. Thanks Van Zyl! Absolutely loved this
xxx
